


Worth Living

by dropyouranchor



Category: Original Work
Genre: Death, EC AU, Gen, Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 21:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2483462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dropyouranchor/pseuds/dropyouranchor





	Worth Living

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reginleit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginleit/gifts).



i.

Shoes squeaked down the hallways, turning left and right and through the maze of the building that had quite a few floors to it. Inside, it was easy to go unnoticed and there was a sense of peace knowing that you could hide from any person with only a few steps and a few quick turns. It was a luxury, having time to yourself and being able to reflect on whatever you wanted. Or even to just not think about anything at all.

Unfortunately, Landon never had the luxury.

He had only gotten just to the back stairwell of his floor when he heard and ‘tsk, tsk’ coming from the other end. Most teenagers would probably have ran and tried to get away despite being caught, but he knew better. Last time, he ended up with a whole army searching for him and only managed to hide for five minutes. When you want to escape people, having a whole group suddenly surrounding you only made matters worse.

“Why can’t you just give me a few minutes alone?” Landon snapped, fingers balling up into fists as he stomped his way back and to the main area of the floor so he could get to the other end where his room was located.

“If you wanna go somewhere, take someone. We don’t have to be right in your face, Landon, but we can’t leave you alone.”

Nurse Duncan was always around like a fly on the wall and Landon rarely managed to get away with anything without her finding out. He knew she cared, but Landon had a habit of hating every single person in the world. That tended to make relationships with people rather difficult.

“We don’t want a repeat of Monday. Besides, your brother is supposed to come visit you today.”

“And that’s supposed to matter?”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to lock him out of the room again. Brent cares about you, he just wants to help.”

“My brother is a raging asshole who only cares about himself.”

Landon stopped in his room and looked around it, hating it while loving it at the same time. It was his own place, his room in the hospital. But it was a reminder. A reminder of his life.

Nurse Duncan went to make sure Landon’s chart was up to date from his morning check-ups before heading to the door again. She knew better than anyone else that sticking around Landon when he was in one of his moods could turn into an all-out war.

“Just try to be a little nicer to your brother today, okay?” She said as a last ditch effort.

Landon scoffed and went over to the window that took up an entire wall, sitting on the couch that rested against it.

ii.

When Landon was born, it was ten years after his parents had their first child. They were ecstatic to have another son and despite being much older than when they had Brent, having their first son around to help was extremely helpful. Landon had been rather subdued at first, a quite baby who rarely ever cried or put up a fight about anything. They figured they were just gifted with a well behaved child considering there wasn’t anything wrong with Landon.

It was when he was five that he grew ill. Constantly he was throwing up, always asleep, and lightheaded. His parents eventually took him to the hospital and he’s been admitted ever since. It only took a few days before he had his own room and his parents learned he would have to be admitted permanently until they could figure out what was wrong with him.

Now sixteen, Landon still didn’t have a diagnosis.

He was the mystery that doctors had been trying to figure out for years now. Many even flew in to see him for themselves but it all remained a mystery. Every single time they thought they had it figured out, it would be wrong. It wasn’t as if he was faking it either, there had been more occasions than any of his doctors liked where Landon had been in serious trouble.

The way he described it, it was as if his entire life energy was just sucked out of him.

Eleven years, the hospital has been his home and at first he didn’t mind. His parents were always with him, he had kids to play with, and his brother always came to see him after school. But slowly as a couple years past, that changed. His parents stopped coming, too painful for them after Landon had nearly died one day and his heart had to be restarted. That was the last straw for them and they kept visiting times to once every couple of months.

That was when Landon was seven. He still had his brother, until a year after and his brother went off to college. Four years, Landon spent completely alone. He watched other kids come and go; good and bad depending on the kid. He stayed in his room and slowly the hatred for the world started to creep into him.

By the time he was twelve and his brother came to visit him for the first time after leaving across country to go to school, Brent didn’t recognize his younger brother. For a twelve year old, Landon was shockingly cold and stubborn. He refused to listen or acknowledge anyone, especially his family. Brent never gave up, moving into a place nearby and visiting Landon until the boy finally allowed his older brother to at least come into the room.

Now, he had his good days and his bad days but either way Landon was intolerable and cruel.

iii.

The clock in his room told him that Brent would be there soon enough. Landon hadn’t decided yet if he would let his brother in so he kept himself occupied by staring out the window. From his perch on the couch, he could see the high school. It was just a street over, perfectly in view of his window and he achingly watched the sudden chaos that came pouring from the doors. It was around lunchtime, Landon knew that most of the kids seemed to go off campus to lunch. A lot of them went to the food places nearby.

Sometimes he wondered if they ever looked up and noticed him.

He hated every single one of them, able to live a healthy and normal life. They didn’t have to go to classes in a hospital, hang out in a hospital, or be depressed in a hospital. Landon envied them for being able to be who they were and have real friends. Sometimes, Landon wished he could go down there and see if anyone would approach him. Landon doubted it, not with the way he looked.

His eyes focused on his reflection in the mirror, horrified by his own appearance. His dark brown hair was flattened on his head and looked stringy, his brown eyes dull and lifeless with the whites of his eyes slightly off-colored, and his skin look stretched over his face from weight loss since he couldn’t stomach much food. He was too skinny for someone his age, too skinny for anyone really. It didn’t help that his skin was a sickly pale yellow. The easy clue that he was ill.

Turning away from the window, he reached for one of his pillows on the couch and let his fingers dig into the fabric to quell his anger.

iv.

Noon came and Landon was outside for once.

His brother had talked to Nurse Duncan and his doctor about taking him out for a bit of fresh air. Brent had to convince them that it would be okay and ended up having to promise they wouldn’t leave the courtyard of the hospital.

Sadly, everyone underestimated Landon.

It had only taken him ten minutes to find his moment and run off from Brent. Landon knew his brother would get shit for it but he didn’t care about that. All he wanted was a taste of freedom. He wanted to pretend to be normal for once, to not see the same people worrying over him and the same people trying to make nice with him. Landon wanted to do something different.

Despite being dressed in tight skinny jeans that still barely fit him and an old hoodie that hung awkwardly on him, Landon decided to be brave and venture into the territory of unknown. The one place he hated the most and yet secretly wanted to be at.

The high school.

Landon had made it there and was winded, his breathing turning into sharp pants. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d walked that far and it seemed a lot closer from his room. His bones ached, his chest hurt, his heart was pounding, and his head was making everything spin. Still, Landon pushed through it like he always did. He made it all the way to a bench on the school property, watching the different groups of people mingle amongst themselves. He knew who was always alone, who was popular, who wished they were, and each of them had a name that Landon gave them.

Drawing his legs up, he set his converse clad feet on the edge of the bench, stuck his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and sat there. He didn’t expect anyone to notice him, didn’t expect someone to come sit next to him and strike up a conversation. All he wanted was the sense of what normal felt like. He was to see up close just what it was like, to be a teenager in high school.

v.

Once a week, Landon would sneak out to the high school during their lunch period. This happened for two months. Despite security—meaning Nurse Duncan—keeping a closer eye on him, Landon managed to get away. He was much smarter if he really put his mind to it. Not once did someone come up to him during those two months. Landon was sure none of them knew he even existed.

Finally, he stopped going to the high school. Even if he refused to admit it, he had wanted someone to see him. To talk to him. Someone who didn’t know him and instantly associate his illness. But that was impossible, wasn’t it?

He’d started to walk around the city then. Carefully, he made sure not to over exert himself while trying to know the outside world more than from the window of his room. It was one of those times that he’d been caught by his brother who was out with friends. Thank to Brent, his trips were no longer possible.

vi.

Landon only became more ill. While his sickness spells only used to come every few times a month, they were much more frequent. The doctors eventually moved him out of the children’s hospital and Landon was moved to the main hospital. A new room. New faces. A new doctor. He didn’t want any of it.

By that point, he just wanted to die.

Twenty one and a stone-cold heart, Landon was not the prime candidate for volunteer visitors or even his own family other than Brent who still, after all the years, dealt with Landon’s temper. It was Brent who had offered Landon a small favor, getting the doctor’s to agree to let Landon out once a week with permission this time. Despite being an adult, he still really had no control over his life.

But, his new freedom gave him something.

Landon had been exploring when he stumbled upon the shop and it certainly wasn’t a place many people would venture into except if they were pretty open about their sexual lives. The first time he visited, Landon found it amusing as he walked through and looked at what was in the small place. The second time was when he first spoke to her.

Addison became the one thing Landon looked forward to in life (other than secretly his brother). While he found her undeniably gorgeous and expressed many times over that he’d love to get in bed with her, she would have none of it. Still, she didn’t push him away in disgust, didn’t look at him as if he was a freak. Landon liked getting under her skin if he could, but liked that she had no problem doing the same. While most people tended to avoid him or scream at him, Addison was different.

She became the sole reason Landon left the hospital and filled his day up from morning to night. Landon never mentioned a single thing to Addison about who he was other than having a brother name Brent. He never asked if she thought he was sick or just hideously ugly. He felt like if he didn’t say he lived in a hospital and was terminally ill, she would never know the truth. Landon, despite all the toughness he showed, was terrified that she wouldn’t talk to him anymore.

Landon didn’t care if she actually liked him visiting the shop every Friday, didn’t care if maybe she thought he was a creep (especially with the countless times he shamelessly hit on her), or anything of the sorts. He cared that she kept talking to him and didn’t kick him out. Landon knew perfectly well that if she wanted, Addison could very easily kick his ass and get him away.

It was because of Addison that he got on better terms with his brother. Still cold, stubborn, and rude as true to himself, but Landon made things better with some.

And while Landon would have loved to become Addison lover, he wasn’t in love with her. She was more of a friend, the one thing Landon really needed more than anything else. It was far too late for him to ever love another person in the way that most people did, but it wasn’t too late for him to have a friend.

vii.

So one day, he’d ventured out after waking up one more to a new destination. It had been a hard morning but Landon got himself up and ran his errand before eating at a nearby place as he waited for the phone call that he wanted. Being sick often got you advantages and Landon used them every single time he could.

When the phone call came, he picked up what he bought and headed over to Addison’s shop just like he did every Friday. She was with a customer when he came in and he just pointed over to what had become his chair to indicate that he’d wait.

Except, he pulled out the little black box and opened it to reveal the locket he’d bought. Engraved inside was a short message, the two words he couldn’t tell her.

_\--Thank you. Love Always, Landon._

Landon snuck into the back office, setting the black box with the locket down on her desk where she would see it. Taking up a piece of paper, he scribbled a short note to stick beside it.

_\--Beautiful Addison, you made the end of my life much better. Because of you, I could smile and I hated the world just a little bit less. If you meet my brother in the future, tell him I love him and that I’m sorry._

With the note finished, he made his way back out and left the shop without a sound. Landon had woken up this morning and knew he needed to do something and this was it. It didn’t take him long to get back to the hospital and back to his room. Landon carried on with the rest of the day staying in bed until dinner time came around.

One of his usual nurses had come into the room to give him dinner, only to hear the shrieking of his machine a moment later. Throwing open the door, she called the code out down the hall and soon enough doctors and nurses flooded into the room.

Landon had technically died and come back to life on many occasions, more than a normal person should have.

This time, his heart finally stopped fighting.


End file.
